Sun, sea and separation

Family solicitors traditionally observe two distinct peaks in new instructions for divorce proceedings within the year. The first is in January after the Christmas/New Year festivities and the second is in September after the school summer holidays.

Most busy families look forward to their two-week family holiday in the sun; a chance for quality family time. However, for thousands of families the longed-for summer holiday highlights, rather than takes away, the underlying tensions within the family. It can be unusual for the whole family to spend a weekend together, let alone two weeks without the usual structure of work, school run, hobbies, friends, etc. 

At some point during the holiday, there comes a life-changing decision: the marriage is over. It is usually the woman making this decision, having enviously observed other couples who are laughing, holding hands and enjoying the sunshine, and noticing the sharp contrast to her family - where there is bickering, tension and overwhelming dissatisfaction. 

So, with the school summer holidays fast approaching, what are the top tips to have an enjoyable summer holiday rather than an experience that ends in divorce proceedings? 

Rachel Cook, of the Michelmores Family Law Team, gives the following advice:

1. Spending the whole holiday together "as a family" can be a mistake. Carefully plan your holiday and do not be afraid to spend time alone to do something that you really want to do, whether this is a kite-surfing lesson or an afternoon in the spa.
2. Get some couple time. Find out if the hotel has a babysitting service. Alternatively, you can invite grandparents or friends with kids. In this way, the kids have someone to play with (other than you) and you have on-hand babysitters.
3. Be realistic. At work, you may challenge yourself to achieve and exceed, but you do not need to take this attitude on holiday. Compromise some of your ambitions to ensure the kids enjoy the holiday too. You may enjoy the challenge of conquering Kilimanjaro but your toddler is unlikely to share your enthusiasm!
4. Set some ground rules. Are mobile phones, laptops, blackberries, etc, allowed? Frustrations are likely to build if one of you is trying to enjoy quality time as a family, and the other is glued to a mobile phone.
5. Have fun and relax. Remember, there is no such thing as a 'perfect family'. If things do not go accordingly to plan - try to keep a sense of perspective and your sense of humour!

Rachel Cook is an Associate within the Family Law Team at Michelmores. Contact Rachel at Rachel.cook@michelmores.com or on 01392 688688